Everyone’s Faking It (And That’s Okay)

Writer: Melody Kang
Editor: Holly Lai

At Havergal, confidence looks effortless.

It’s the student who raises her hand before the question is even finished. The one who walks into the BRH or the Dining Hall like she belongs exactly where she is. The athlete who seems unfazed before a game, or the performer who steps onto the stage during prayers without hesitation. From the outside, it can feel like everyone else has it figured out, and you’re the only one quietly doubting yourself.

The truth is, most people really aren’t as confident as they look–they’re just good at showing up anyway.

Myth #1: Confident people don’t doubt themselves

One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that it means never feeling unsure. In reality, even the students who seem the most self-assured at Havergal have moments of doubt. 

Think about how many times someone at HC answers a question in class and sounds totally sure, only to later whisper to a friend. “Wait, was that even right?” Or the people who seem so utterly comfortable performing at assemblies or games, but admit afterward that they were shaking the entire time.

Confidence isn’t the absence of fear. It’s doing the thing even while you’re nervous.

Myth #2: Confidence means always knowing what you’re doing

Coming from a ninth grader, there’s always going to be pressure to look like you’ve adjusted. To manage the workload, navigate new expectations, and understand the social rhythm of the school day without missing a beat. It can feel like everyone else already knows how to balance extracurriculars, friendships, and self-care.

In reality, most students are figuring it out as they go. The people who seem the most put together aren’t necessarily more prepared; they’re simply more willing to try without waiting until they feel completely ready. Confidence often shows up as taking a risk: signing up for a new club, auditioning for a play, or speaking up in class even when you’re unsure.

Myth #3: One mistake can undo your confidence

At a high-achieving school like Havergal, it’s easy to believe that one bad test, awkward moment, or off day defines you. A lower-than-expected mark or a presentation that doesn’t go as planned can feel like proof that you’re “not good enough.”

What we need to internalize is that confidence doesn’t disappear when things go wrong. If anything, it’s built in those moments. Growth is not linear, and neither is self-belief. Some days you’ll feel unstoppable, and other days just getting through the day is enough; both are completely normal.

So what does confidence actually look like?

Real confidence is quieter than we expect.

It’s asking for help after class instead of pretending you understand. It’s walking into school on a day when you feel off and choosing to participate anyway. It’s sitting alone in the Dining Hall without feeling like it defines you; it’s trying again after a setback, even when it would be easier not to.

Confidence isn’t about being the loudest person in the room, but instead being comfortable enough to be yourself, despite the nerves and uncertainty

So..everyone’s faking it?

Yes. But not in a bad way.

“Faking it” is really just practicing courage before it feels natural. Over time, what starts as pretending slowly turns into believing, and the more you show up, the more it becomes real.

So if you ever feel like you’re unsure of yourself at HC, remember this: you’re not the only one questioning yourself. Everyone is figuring it out–even the people who look like they aren’t.